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Shadow of a Wing

by Andrew Calhoun

supported by
Benjamin Doran
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Steven Hurowitz
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Marty Rosen
Marty Rosen thumbnail
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1.
Meditation Song 03:24
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Way up in the clouds, there's no resistance, Viewing the ground from a frightening distance; Removed from the struggle, feel your existence Fade from the clutch of the close and curious, And from your own reason for being so furious. Up where the rolling wheel is one with the word, Above the roar of the crowd, hear the song of the bird. I'll show you something I learned from a pentagon; The five-finger trick, and the ten hour marathon; The fifty-yard dash, and the hundred mile stretch beyond; Take it all easy, and sweet and slow, When you get where you're going, there'll be someplace else to go. Up where the rolling wheel is one with the word, Above the roar of the crowd, hear the song of the bird. Here it is baby, come find your balance; Stay with the secret you stole from the palace, Of plumbless darkness, and blinding brilliance; Far past your own gossip, and all who would enter, Welcome each circler, and daily dissenter. Up where the rolling wheel is one with the word, Above the roar of the crowd, hear the song of the bird.
2.
Window 01:24
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My love is a window That looks from air to air, My love is deep as August, Tender as despair. A throng of birds above us, A belly full of dreams, The moment where a magic trick's Exactly what it seems. Still within the whirlwind, Infinity's embraced; Whatever you expected Is swept up and erased. She is resting where the waters Flow separately to one; I'll find her where the fire Goes out to meet the sun.
3.
Sammy 01:40
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Maybe you decided—maybe you just know A flame that burns so brightly is destined soon to go Before you'd leave this earthly place, I'd have you sure of this Your name's engraved within a heart where you'd be sorely missed Beauty on your banner, death at your back door Will knock again as foe or friend, you've heard the sound before If I could face him down for you, I'd shout him down the years I'd hide you in my closet, and guard you with my tears Not every ghost is holy, not every cause is just Not every haunting brings you down, not every star is crossed Your burden's only what you choose, the how of being who And destiny may bend its mind to one whose heart is true
4.
The Promise 02:34
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I know that you're there, and you're leaning towards me, I've seen the future alive on the sea; Before every sentence, behind every kiss, Are we really in love, is it really like this? Lover, O lover, don't tie up my hands, Lover, O lover, don't mess up my plans; Don't fog up the mirror, don't forfeit the motion, But cry in the corner and sleep on the ocean. I have been taken from the safest black hole, I have been shaken beyond my control; And here I'm determined, with my foot in your door, Saying give me your treasures, and I'll give you more. I will be faithful and I will be true, I will be strong for you, I will belong to you; And I will be silver, and I will be gold, And I will pour light in you when you are old. And I will share counsel when we are in trouble, And I will break statues when you are my double; And I will be sentry and soldier and lover, I won't let you die in the steps of your mother.
5.
Two Roads 02:45
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You have been discreet, Doin' me a favor, But the word is on the street Like the news is in the paper. Who you been seein'? What you been doin'? The truth and the lie Are two roads to ruin. You have been discreet, You do it up proud; Your presence so empty, Your absence so loud. Who you been seein'? What you been doin'? The truth and the lie Are two roads to ruin. It's all played on the black keys, In the stretches and the makeup; Impatience and courtesies, Your brand-new short haircut. Who you been seein'? What you been doin'? The truth and the lie Are two roads to ruin. Say which little promise Will you keep today? As all of Israel Falls away. Who you been seein'? What you been doin'? The truth and the lie Are two roads to ruin.
6.
Witches 01:59
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There's troubles you talk to a stranger about, And trouble you keep in your family; And trouble that hides in your bedclothes at night That whispers discouragement daily. And there's no place to hide from the sin and the pride, From the good and the bad and the ugly; And no place to go where the seasons don't know you, I told you so, told you so baby. There's wandering minstrels with ballads and fiddles, Pots of old coffee and whiskey; And muscular plumbers with wrenches and hammers That come up the back from the alley. And wicked old witches, those daughters of bitches Come riding on broomsticks of glory; To seize all your sorrows and smooth down the furrows, I told you so, told you so baby. While you were out walking and stalked in your stocking feet, Hammerlocked, hauled in the barley; Sucked out like an ice cube, out flat like a squeeze tube Balled up and still breathing, just barely. Here come those witches, those daughters of bitches, Too wild and wise to fight fairly; Farewell and Hell's bells to the devil, dear boy, And I told you so, told you so baby. I told you so, told you so baby.
7.
Daughter of a Drunk 03:36
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She had this sorry story She had these pretty eyes Amazed that I would bother Imagine my surprise I'm dancin' with the daughter of a drunk She might have been a princess Or a body in a trunk Dancin' with the daughter of a drunk She had a riddle for me In the wounded light of morning It was help me if you can Though I'm beyond your helping And love me if you can Even though I don't deserve it I'm dancin' with the daughter of a drunk She might have been a princess Or a body in a trunk Dancin' with the daughter of a drunk All I felt was shame In the grinding and the jamming And all she heard was blame And anger, doubt and damning And sneaking out the back way And the door slamming You son of a bitch's daughter I'm a wild roving Jew Running from consignment With a purple IOU Out in the field of onions My number's always odd And counted with the minions Shoved up the ass of God I have come to meet your panic In the history of our dreaming Will you write me off as crazy, Make a brass plate from my screaming? I'm dancin' with the daughter of a drunk She might have been a princess Or a body in a trunk Dancin' with the daughter of a drunk Where are you hiding baby With the chosen or the lost Were you looking at your footsteps When the line got crossed Are you coming back to meet me As lover, friend or ghost The one who sold your life out To the one who loves you most I'm dancin' with the daughter of a drunk She might have been a princess Or a body in a trunk Dancin' with the daughter of a drunk She had this sorry story, she had these pretty eyes Kum ba ya, my lord, kum ba ya Kum ba ya, my lord, kum ba ya Kum ba ya, my lord, kum ba ya Oh lord, kum ba ya. Oh lord, kum ba ya
8.
A Hoosier in Paris 02:00
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Well, she didn't speak much English, and I, not much Francaise, So I used a little Yankee know-how, for to conquer her malaise; She learned the word for Gemini, I told her, I's a Pisces, And I strolled with this sweet June Filly on down through the Champs Elysees. Now if you've ever been to Paris, you know it's called Paree, It ain't that they don't say the "S", they say it silently; Or so explained this jolly blonde, to this enchanted guy, I's head over heels like old King Louis in the palace at Ver-sails. We moseyed through Montmarter, and other noted sights, We stopped into a little bistro there, and I ordered pommes frites; And I spoke of Jean-Paul Sarter, but I couldn't seem to move her, And I felt us start to drift apart as we wandered through the Louver. Well, I left this belle dame sans merci in Paris town last week, I got tired of tipping some poor fool everytime I took a leak; Here she stand in this color slide, atop the Eiffel Tower, From that famous Gallic symbol, she will always wave bonjour.
9.
Smokin' and Drinkin' 02:32
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I'm glad you quit smokin' and drinkin', Getting so low and high. I'm glad you quit smokin' and drinkin'. I talked with a woman, She said you were on vacation In a cabin on a lake; You did not bring a lover, You had gone there to recover, Let the water solve the ache. I'm glad you quit smokin' and drinkin', Getting so low and high. I'm glad you quit smokin' and drinkin'. The party life's its own thing, It will leave your body ringing, It will use your time. It will set your head to swirling, It will send your body whirling, Past the rhythm and the rhyme. I'm glad you quit smokin' and drinkin', Getting so low and high, I'm glad you quit smokin' and drinkin'. The weight is on our shoulders, While we're old and getting older, With our backs to death; We can't turn around and break it, We can't run away and shake it, Make it weigh a little less. I'm glad you quit smokin' and drinkin', Getting so low and high, I'm glad you quit smokin' and drinkin'. I feel a morning breaking, And I know you are escaping From that place you were, Where that dark web grows tighter, It has grown a little lighter, And I thank you, sir. I'm glad you quit smokin' and drinkin', Getting so low and high, I'm glad you quit smokin' and drinkin'.
10.
Folklore 02:41
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My love, she's a blooming lady She's a king and queen of men She's a green and purple lady She's got willing slaves and then She's got plenty of pain and trials She's got plenty of time to spend She's got fifty women in waiting She's got fools and dreams to mend My love, she's a false young lady See her in her wedding gown Set me up just to betray me Left my secret songs around She's got pills to make her happy She's got pills to bring her down Lost her heart to her own body Fears it never will be found My love, she's a virtuous lady My love, she's a virgin queen Promised me her wholesome body Promises to keep me clean; There's here boat come up the river Empty boat, where can she be? She's gone fishing in the water, Drowned herself to set you free Now my life's an empty vessel Now my life's a closing door I keep her dog, I hear her whistle Things I never could ignore I keep her house and her long garden A monument your children for My heart is buried in her stockings My soul is sold into folklore
11.
Inside Out 02:20
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Please don't take me lightly when I'm Rocking in your chair, on Your warm bosom, with our shadow everywhere Don't you hear the sirens calling down the stretches of the street Toward some holy name disaster of a body losing heat Discover me, I'm as lonesome as a whale I'm as waxy as a turnip, I'm as weary as a jail Discover me not, in rays of angry sunshine In the songs of vicious children To the governing piranha Discover in me, the iridescent shadow The water in the lock The song in the piano The body in the block, Oh I know what you want to hear That's why I can't say it When my heart is drawn to you Well I do obey it The joke that fell between us Left us rolling in the aisle Sometimes lips have words to say Sometimes they smile But the words have all been spoken At this window we stare out Some promises are broken Other ones wear out I'll take a hundred You'll take a hundred Go our separate ways And the life we spent, so huge and blue With turn into a phrase Like, "I shoulda known better." "I just had to get out" Things look different from outside in Than they do from inside out Please don't take me lightly when I'm Rocking in your chair, on Your warm bosom, With our shadow everywhere
12.
Single Roses 02:27
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Up and down the streets of Venice Full of wonder, hope and menace I wander lost and laughing, while away the hours I saw a pretty woman there, and she was selling flowers A fiddle player's daughter Was walking on the water with her flowers Chorus: Flowers in the bloom Flowers in the bud Free their wild perfume For the old and new in love She was in the morning singing She was hawking single roses To the old and new in love So many odd years later, give and take a crooked mile I saw a woman selling flowers, and I knew her by her smile And I wondered if she knew me, or what it is she knows Of love and song and beauty That she still could smile so "Beauty fades," she said to me But I will beg to differ With a wild rose held close to me Walking on the water Choru
13.
Fluttering Wings 03:08
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Still these fluttering wings Fold them in by me Stop these flutterings Quietly Still and stern I walk a road Where judge and jury beg to live You are there to take the blame Where I am hardest to forgive Still these fluttering wings Fold them in by me Stop these flutterings Quietly All we did and all we had Everywhere the meaning was Left half-hearted on the grass In spite of, or just because Still these fluttering wings Fold them in by me Stop these flutterings Quietly Do not bring the cup to me Of all you think, and all I do Brace and be the cup to me Where we can be the water too Still these fluttering wings Fold them in by me Stop these flutterings Quietly Lay aside your wily ways For truth holds all of mystery And Love, within this failing light Show my lover whole to me And lift our promise from disgrace Wrap it in a stronger will Bind it in a fond embrace Where all is change, I hold you still Still these fluttering wings Fold them in by me Stop these flutterings Quietly
14.
Broken Feeder 03:06
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There's a broken feeder on the backporch It was a gift he gave her before he passed away She bought more feeders for the backyard For the nuthatches and bushtits And the rufus-sided towhee And the pretty Townsend's warbler And she scattered seed for the quail When he died, he died in her arms When he died, he died in her arms And she did not say the right thing And she could not save his life She wore a shroud of loneliness She wore a robe of grace And those that offered comfort Found strength in her embrace But the cards and flowers stop coming And she gave herself to grieving With the flame of love still burning And cruel November turning And all day he is dying And all day he is dying One night she woke up trembling Her heart so swiftly racing Her face and his are blending And both of them are dying And both of them are dying She calls a friend and 911 To come to save her life They gave her pills to calm her And her steady friend stays over The body goes on breathing And there really are no words For why she rose that morning And went to feed the birds.
15.
Raining 02:58
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It's raining in heaven and hell And draining down in to the well Where water is stored For the song of the Lord And the tale for the tongue to tell I live in a foreign land Where I search for the missing band That disappeared slowly Through moments unholy With a weight that I still can't stand My heart is a wounded bird Which sings where the murder occurred Of who knows what happened The fall and the trap And the page with a torn-out word This world is the world we knew Where the dream and the flowers grew In this same green yard Where it's harder and harder To make that world hold true All things have an end, they say As if May were the same as May Our unspoken trust Will not meet the dust Though the body must go that way Imagine one real friend And time with an open end A life long as good Well I will if I would Win a world with a will to bend It's raining in heaven and hell And draining down in to the well Where water is stored For the song of the Lord And the tale for the tongue to tell
16.
I Love Your Letters 01:43
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I love your letters, more than a blank page For a poet of my age, it's saying a lot With a nod to my betters, I try it again Each now into then, each blessing forgot And I love your cards, so thoughtfully hand-picked Their pictures tell secrets the artists don't know From near, from far, question and answer, Dove and the dancer, the give and the go And I love your body, its turns and its phrases Its hedges and ditches, its swallowing ways So good and so easy, a season of mystery, Unscripted history, a prayer if you please And I love how I know you, love how you know me Water below me, body above The wild world below you, so restlessly turning All changed in this yearning to the breast of a dove
17.
Farewell Butterfly 02:25
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Down at the fountain of you think I think Up on the mountain of me plus you Down in the valley of the jolly green gyrating Joseph and Josephine, red to blue I'm on the hill with the will and the killer I'm at the stage of recent death I'm full of bull at the affable taffy-pull Third on the list for president Come raise a ruckus, out on the midway Muckers and the truckers and the star struck fans Bring your wispy little mystery wristbands Your tribal bibles in your hands Stir up the dirty little flirty little murdering Death-trap love-trap, tangled wires I'm on the intake outtake back-breakin' Uptake, shake a hose to fight the fires April showers leave May hanging Out on the line with fuck you too I'm number one and you're number one And we're all number one where it's coming to Sitting on the bed with the morning pay before You leave with another lover tight in hand It's rat-tail hope-chest, burning circles on your breast Jimmy Carter's navel in a root beer can Who's gonna stand up, who's gonna give up Who's gonna throw up, who's gonna die What are you afraid of, show us what you're made of Pizza pie in a bright blue sky Then it's road map, mud flap, hammer down and shut your trap That'll get you nowhere, saddlesore It's all a big joke where you gonna go to protest Any old apple that you care to core Go on baby, love little dickens Your sweet love for a month or more And then you're off to Hackensack, pony-tail, ruck-sack Cool Appaloosa on a hotbed chore I don't want it, you don't want it Stamp it into blood and gore Feel a little hot now take my temper It's your same old same old nail in the floor Say you're gonna miss me, turn aside to kiss me Somebody list me up for sale Tents in the backyard, oil gas and credit card Be another good one if the crops don't fail Back at the ranch of meanwhile any Wear clothes that fit you right this time Cause you're losing more waitin' for your money Where churchyard bells begin to chime Farewell butterfly, miss wavy gravy Buttermilk, milktoast, millipede and then It's a hello Hellfire elements of fond desire Free your heavy heart and start again
18.
Hualapai Mountain 03:01
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You may go there like you pray Don't look back or ask the way The door is open, you're always welcome Come whole, come broken Come anyway Walk on past your youth, it's over Sling your pack across your shoulder Walk the old road, stick your thumb out Stars are watching, see them come out One night older Travel till you reach the desert Full and empty, wide as ever Cactus with his withered wife Snakes and lizards cling to life In love forever Take a room, they're cheap out here Motel coffee, barroom beer Climb the hillside, rest your weight On the cross of love and hate Have no fear Wind comes walking, whispers low "I take you everywhere I go. Wandering on the dizzy heights Weaving through your sleepless nights I know you know I know you know"

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released October 5, 2004

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Andrew Calhoun Chicago, Illinois

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