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Hope

by Andrew Calhoun

/
1.
Getaway 02:14
Make your getaway, darling Ride the midnight bus Leave all that struggle and snarling Come on back to us I've got a homemade meal in the freezer Hidden way down in the back There's one cold beer for a teaser There's a cup with your name in the rack Hearts dance like flies in the darkness Feeling their way to the light I know you're out there somewhere Keeping me awake all night I've grown so scared of loving How far it all goes wrong Sometimes it's worth the losing For a chance to sing the song
2.
For how long now, you drag along And you can't quite see to name what's wrong Though sometimes you may hate the war It's the struggle that I love you for I love you all the time I love you all the time Make a wish, send a note Downriver on the mailboat Send it through the heart of space I can find you anyplace I love you all the time I love you all the time You don't have to make it pay and you don't have to be some way To make it fast, or make it last Or try to make up for the past I love you all the time I love you all the time Walk away from that black hole And the flame that burns the living soul Sky and sea and earth and sun The world is born in everyone I love you all the time I love you all the time
3.
Glad Old Man 02:14
I'm gonna be a glad old man I'm gonna be a glad old man Gonna sit on the porch and sing a sad song And I'm gonna be a glad old man I'm gonna have two doxen grandkids Bangin' on the baby grand But I won't take them to Disneyworld Nor never to Disneyland Gonna take 'em out in a rowboat On a sweet late summer day Gonna float around and say nothin' 'cause I got nothing better to say I won't watch no TV And I won't listen to the news And I won't go to the doctor 'cause I got better things to do I'm gonna plant 8 million flowers Fix supper for the local mutts I'm gonna sit on the toilet for hours And drive my old lady nuts I'll rest on the couch all afternoon She can tell the guests I'm sick But if she wants to get right to sleep at night She'll have to beat me off with a stick I'll be fond of my old friend And she'll be fond of me And I'll love her more at 94 Than I did at 93
4.
The Swimmer 03:47
There's a swimmer who's swimming out under the sky, Who fell from a ship and caught in the eye Of unseeing nature, he will struggle and try; It helps him forget about having to die. A man with a mortgage, a house and a lawn, Is mowing and working and paying along, His money is tied up, and his body is bound To a family and a country, and a hole in the ground. Good shoes and warm clothes are a comfort to wear, When the winter winds shriek in an effort to scare Little children from sleep, to the devil knows where; Keep walking, keep moving, don't leave yourself there. This party's a good one, there's hors d'oevres and wine, Pretty people, witty people, people on and off line; I want to get married in a purple bow-tie, To help me forget about having to die. It's love and it's warfare from rattle to tomb, And it's both of them calling me back to this room, Where the curve of your body, and the look in your eye Make me feel worse and better about having to die.
5.
Veteran 05:18
Do you love a gander? Do you love a goose? Are you chief commander? Is your body loose? Do you love a genie? Do you love a snake? Do you and John and Benny Grab at once, or alternate? My time is your time My life is yours to see Our life is echoed mountains Our space is memory See me in your high school yearbook See me at your senior prom See me fresh out of the army See me home from Vietnam See our house be broken See our bed spinning round Our life is leaf and hopes See little armies shoot them down Little armies on the sidewalk Helicopters overhead Spinning near where you and I talk Kill the living, wake the dead See the body in the ocean See the woman on the quay Life and love and tender tears And melancholy ecstasy See me walking with a placard See me throw my badge away See me very truly sorry See me broken anyway We are moving westward We are breaking camp See our silence fester See us cold and damp Skinny Susan, are you happy Skinny Susan, are you sad Skinny Susan, do you love me Are you dead or sick or mad? Mine is the crying mountain Mine the deadly blow Mine the dry fountain Mine, the din below Mine, the silver shadow Mine, the lone machine Mine, the revolving echo Poison oak and kerosene Will you love a killer? Will you take a chance? Screwdriver and a chaser Would you like to dance Will you forgive a table Will you forgive a shoe Do you forgive the rain For serenading down on you Do you forgive the sunrise Coming on a troubled house Do you forgive the mousetrap Or the landlord, or the mouse
6.
She wants the kids, the house, the car, You better get a lawyer You can keep the dogs and your old guitar, Better get a lawyer You don't count, you don't rate She's gonna move right out of state You better get a lawyer You shouldn't get caught running around You better get a lawyer Never shoulda put her daddy down You better get a lawyer She's got the junk, she's got the facts You get the trunk and you get the axe You better get a lawyer It was so fine, it was so sweet You better get a lawyer You're running into debt, 'cause you're dead meat You better get a lawyer To tie the knot just takes two To untie one takes her and you And you better get a lawyer Someday you'll say, when all this ends You better get a lawyer Maybe you two would've stayed friends If it wasn't for the lawyers
7.
Balls 03:13
I've been in your kitchen, I've been in your halls, I'll stand in your doorway and sing of my balls; My balls! My balls! I'll stand in your doorway and sing of my balls. Now, I've climbed your tall mountains and crossed your great plains, I've lassoed your cattle and kicked out their brains, On the sands of West Texas, where the coyote calls, I'll stand on your badlands and sing of my balls. Now, I've swum all your rivers and sailed all your seas, Picked apples and peaches and harvested peas In Northern California, where the redwood grow talls, I'll stand in your hot-tub and sing of my balls. Now, I've sung at Bar Mitzvahs and other occasions, On prize-winning floats, and at peace demonstations; Been compared to Harry Chapin, Lou Reed and Lou Rawls, I'll stand on your stage and I'll sing of my balls. Now, I rode with old Hannibal, when he crossed the Alps, I fought beside Blackhawk, and cut off your scalps; And with mighty Caesar, who conquered the Gauls, I'll stand on your windpipe and sing of my balls. Now, my song is ending, though it's barely begun, And if I'm not well-heeled, well at least I'm well-hung; And sometimes in a rainstorm, when the Pontiac stalls, I'll stand on the roadside and sing of my balls.
8.
Scrapbook 03:26
Flying with the starling Running with the deer I'm looking for my darling I thought she would be here Chorus: I need more love Than I can show I need more love Than you will ever know Don't hold me up against it Don't catch me when I fail Let me wander through it slowly Don't call me on detail Just like that babe in arms, dear Just like that hungry bear Just like that leaping lapdog Wrestler in a wheelchair And when I lose my focus Fooled and falsely free Then I lose my darling Wishing she were me And if I speak unkindly When I am half awake Let your love be larger then Than my last mistake
9.
Chorus: I wanna thank my long legged lover, And she'd thank me, I suppose; I wanna thank that long legged lover, Who sewed me a new suit of clothes. That old suit was so ill-fitting, Too thin to keep me warm; With flaws in the size and the stitching, To bind a changing form. (Chorus) Maybe it was my mother, Maybe my angry wife; Who sewed that suit so tight on me, I couldn't get it off myself. (Chorus) This new suit is so damn pretty, I can't believe it's mine; Ain't that temptress a beauty, And don't the emperor look fine.
10.
She's like the autumn to me She's like the autumn to me Like a well-worn sweater Like a lost love letter Apple hanging ripe from a tree She's coming to visit soon She's coming to visit soon Time waiting for a bus Leaves twirl in front of us Let's jump up to the moon She's like the autumn to me She's like the autumn to me Light in a window full of song Laughter scatt'r'ing right and wrong Living in a mystery She's like the autumn to me She's like the autumn to me Stars shine the stern grace Seeds falling into place Steal back your memory
11.
If 03:08
If I were the long hand, circling by, She'd be the hour hand, and she'd ask me why; If I were a problem, in a big textbook, She'd be the sister, who'd come and take a look, Come and take a look. If she were a mountain, and a mountain valley, I'd be the water, rolling down her belly. If she were the heat of an August day, I'd be the street, where the kids all play, Where the kids all play. If she were the shoes on a two-bit hood, I'd be the shoe-shine boy, and I'd shine 'em up good; If I were the cast, and she the play, We'd shock the people, and we'd send 'em all away, We'd send 'em all away. If she were the sand on the ocean shore, I'd build a castle to stand evermore; If I were the sun, and she were the sea, I'd smile down at her and she'd smile up at me, Smile up at me.
12.
Survivor 04:29
Cut me a hole in your body Cut me a hole in your time Cut me a hole in your freedom I'll cut a hole in mine I'll cut a hole in my story I'll cut a hole in my game I'll cut a hole in my shadow Hold me right up to the flame Hold me right up to the mirror Hold me right up to the ghost Where the children were frozen in terror And all of their honor was lost Where it turned into, "I don't need this one" And, "I can do better than you" And suffering Jesus remembers Much better than all of you do Yes, suffering Jesus remembers Who stole the pitcher of tea And who gave the beggar refusal And who stuck a sword into me As I was the one who was chosen To pay the high price of sin On the cold, hot floor of unreason At the wheel where worlds begin As God is my mother and father You have no more of that name By the power of all I remember By the freedom that comes with that claim For here is a girl who's been beaten But still, she is willing to try And forced at the altar of falsehood Still she is unwilling to lie And what does that say for our silence And all of the feeling we fake All of those bleak, wasted moments All the excuses we make May you outlive the end of that story And in harmony's banner of light May you walk a long morning in glory Up the hill at the end of the night May you walk a long morning in glory Up the hill at the end of the night
13.
Recall 03:48
I recall your biscuits and gravy I recall a very wild sky I recall a man who walked and said nothing It was all one long goodbye I recall your eyelashes and toothpaste I recall an unhappy dawn I recall a gate that was often left open After the guests were gone I recall your sandpaper midnight I recall your long, billowing dream That you let me stand up and lie down in That you let me in between I recall your kneecaps and notebook I recall the still, dead lake I recall the long seasons of rhyming time And the front that was not fake I recall a shower in Memphis I recall a razor in Maine I recall a stronger woman who sang Till the tears fell down like rain And it's now my tears come falling And it's here my dreams come true Here I am lost in my own country With never a breath of you With never a breath of your reasons And never a taste of your salt Free from that tyrant hunger Who finds no food but fault I am off in the wild blue yonder Out in the prairie so wild Up where the flowers go crazy with blooming And dance in the mind of a child I recall our first failure and triumph The ceiling and hypnotized cat I recall great and small and the rise and the fall From longer ago that that And it's now my tears come falling And it's here my dreams come true Here I am lost in my own country With never a breath of you With never a breath of your reasons And never a taste of your salt Free from that tyrant hunger Who finds no food but fault I am off in the wild blue yonder Out in the prairie so wild Up where the flowers go crazy with blooming And dance in the mind of a child

credits

released March 22, 1993

Produced by Andrew Calhoun, Kat Eggleston, and Steve Rashid
Recorded and mastered by Steve Rashid at Woodside Avenue Productions, Inc, Evanston, IL, except for "Veteran" and "Long Legged Lover," recorded by Rob Folsom at OMB Studios, Port Orchard, WA. Photo by Sara Risley, graphics by Daniel Lillian / Danielgraphics.

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